It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Anchor Christmas Ale

Anchor brewing releases a new Christmas Ale every year and this year is no different.

The 2009 Christmas "Our Special Ale" is exceptionally creamy compared to previous vintages and exhibits slightly oak-ey vanilla heft.

Its mouthfeel resembles more a cream soda than wassail normally found in winter time. I haven't decided exactly whether or not I like this beer. I must imbibe several more six packs before deciding. What I've loved about previous vintages of this ale is the presence of spicy blackberry/currant flavors mixed with spruce.

I need to test this more- if you see it yourself don't be afraid to try it and share your experience.

Transition

Well, the city's favorite bartender is a free agent now. It's a minor setback for the growing craft beer culture in downtown Pomona, but I am currently in the works to remedy this travesty.



Anyhow, I would very much like to thank all of you whom I have met during my stay at dba256. I have enjoyed the company of many new friends and I have relished the opportunity to serve the community in a way no one else has bothered to try. I thank and love each one of you.


This will not be the end of my service to the people and community I love in the name of my greatest love- beer. Please stay tuned and I will be glad to inform everyone of my whereabouts and hope to continue my spiritual mission of baptism through grain, hops, water, and yeast.

the big international beer conspiracy

Everybody now takes greater notice to the existence of a counter beer culture. This culture stands against all that is macro brewing. It takes to heart that the beer label on the bottle in one's hand is just as important as the name of the birthplace on one's birth certificate.


But did you know there is a group that is attempting to become a rebel force?


These rebels are diguised as people who enjoy "exotic" beers. That means obscure imports.



This perpetuation is often misguided and riddled with confusion. So let's see how we can fix it.


Let's use a simple format to deconstruct the errors of these uneducated drinkers.


For example;



Latin American beers.....

The people that "Only drink Latin beer" are either one of two things; ignorant, or incredibly ignorant.

Does anybody know how many corporate breweries exist in Mexico alone?
-three

Three breweries brew over a dozen different beers- how's that for a monopoly?



I know where you're going to go with this rebels...


(Whiny voice) "Well, I drink ________." (insert Quilmes, Aguila, Panama, Brahma, Imperial, some other piss etc.)

The problem with the majority of international beer is this-

90-95 percent of the world drinks Lager.


Not interesting variations on lager- but just plain light colored, light bodied, light flavored lager.


Tibbs, why is this so?

The answer is simple- you know how accordions are present in horrible Mexican music?
----It's the freakin' Germanic influence provided by emmigrating Germans throughout the early to mid 20th century!!!!


Germans went everywhere and took their beer sensibilities with them. This meant that Imperial in Costa Rica doesn't taste that different from Tecate in Mexico or quilmes in Argentina. Bet you rebels feel pretty stupid now, huh? No>?- Well, you should.

Now let's get to the second part.


Brewing has had a long history of representing the people brewing the beer, the environment in which is it brewed, and the local products in such environment.

A brewer would use local water, local barley and/or wheat, local hops, and usually use a cultivated local yeast or spontaneously found local yeast.


You could travel from place to place and find unique beer different form the beer in the previous locale.


But not anymore.


And that is due to trade and technology.



Modern day brewers can control the chemical makeup and character of water used in brewing.

That means you can take Pomona Municipal water and change it to taste like the legendary water of Burton found in Bass.

This gives the modern brewer flexibility in achieveing desired taste and quality. But it also refrains him from total local expression in a most chemical sense.

Trade comes into play by allowing a brewer to purchase grain and hops from whoever he wishes- no longer limited by local supplies and market strongholds. Trade affects international beer in the respect that when you pick up a bottle of Panama- there is a good chance that the grain used in brewing the beer may have come from Bolivia or even the US.

Ethically- how can you drink an exotic beer made with ingredients that aren't even representative of the beer's supposed origin?



The answer to this confusion is craft made beer.

Afterall, why drink another country's budweiser? Why?

Hanging out with celebrities!

Yeah- I know I haven't posted much lately, but September was a pretty horrible month for me.


I wasn't trying a whole lot of new beer, I was working more (which is good), and I was enduring some other problems. But don't worry guys- I'm not on the wagon or anything!!!!


And, I really don't want to be the guy that writes about every single thing. I've been doing this for a year and I have over 7,ooo hits so far with just under 100 posts. I like that pace and will keep to that standard unless my life gets a lot more interesting.

And this past week it has.




So, here's the scoop.

I was at Back Abbey on Wed. when I spotted Meg there having a good time. (Yes, Meg was having a good time at Backhair Abbey, Back Alley, etc.)

Anyhow, we sat down and ordered some beers. And I really didn't know what I wanted. I usually drink Saison Dupont and Fuller's London Pride.

I ordered a London Pride and to my surprise it tasted off. It exhibited paperiness....which is a storage issue, but I made no issue with it because it was slight and could've been simply due to my own innaccuracy since I had not had it in so long.

The next couple of beers were a fluke.

I ordered A Celebrator (Ayinger) Doppelbock, and then Bavik Pilsener.

At this point I was grasping for straws. My beer mojo wasn't working.


John, the owner of Back Abbey, came by and sat as we caught up a little. He informed me the founder of D' Chouffe would be in later for a meet and greet.



Chris Bauwereats showed up and after some disappointment with the lack of knowledgable clientel, came by. He introduced himself and bought us some beer. He sat down and we immediately started talking about beer, the industry, the past, the present, and the future.

He and his partner Danny, the marketing director of Duvel, had been traveling around the country on a Slow Brew tour. Chris was a character, very gregarious and very European. Meeting him made me happy because I could see how genuinely happy the man was- a man that simply did exactly what he wanted to do. In him, I saw what I hope for myself someday. We eventually made it back to dba, and here are the photos.



Melissa and her free Chouffe hat!




Me and Chris having some Stone beers




Chris, Danny, and I

by Charles Baudelaire

Get Drunk!

Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

-- Charles Baudelaire

32 oz. of cold fresh sex

Hey all of you out there in blogger land. I am here.

I've been here, but I've been in partial hiding because I suspect the mayor has put a price on my head. I think he's using the meter reader as his contract killer...so I've had to lay low. And I've been especially mindful to use limited amounts of electricity!


For now, I think the bulk of the danger has passed although I can't say for sure.


I'd like to, at least, chronicle some last beer ideas in case I don't make it through the rest of this month.




So I'm gonna let you into my world of sexy fantasy....(do not stop reading- keep reading).

-Well, just make sure you have your passport stamped and ready for pleasure town, because the Bus O' Lust has just pulled in and we're all going for a ride and won't stop until we reach Climax Point.



Here's the setting.


I was talking to the missus the other day; which is something I try to do from time to time or else she won't let me grope her; occasional groping of course- I am, in fact, a gentleman.


Anyhow, we were talking, and she started saying "I think your drinking is gettin'....blah, blah, blah, hey, nanni, nanni...gesundheit....blah, blah, blah."




And my mind wandered where it usually goes, which just happens to be the dirtiest alley in the city that is my brain. And the usual suspects were there. Bill Clinton, George Clinton, the nice girls from the website suicidegirls.com and I were about to play nude red rover-red rover, when all of a sudden I snapped out of it.


I thought to myself, 'Self, what the hell are you doing? This is perverse by even your standards- think of the one true love of your life. Don't be a disgusting bastard!'



And I was right about myself. I am a disgusting bastard. So, I turned away from that alley and found a more respectable avenue in the red light district of the city I call my mind, and who was there tastefully dressed heel to toe in lace and silk but the love of my life- Zooey Deschanel!


Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Tibbs, my man- don't be a jackass! What about America Ferrera?"


Well, 'what about her? She's so 2008.'



Zooey is my main affection now, at least where I have a complete say-so and fate has no intervening hand.



Like I was saying, Zooey Deschanel walks over to me with her bedroom eyes and whispers softly.

"You know Tibbi; I heard you're native American. Guess what? I'm a cowgirl and I am about to ride the savage out of you, you tasty bastard."


*side note- one time a cute girl once told me she would 'ride the savage out of me.'


She continued to say..."I love your beer belly, it makes me so hot; just like Louisiana Sausage in the summer."

And I know it seems gross, but for a fat guy like me, this is probably the sexiest thing someone can say to me. Of course, other than what she said to me next.

"I want to drink a delicious American craft beer, preferably a triple hopped India Pale Ale, out of your belly button- you sexy braumeister."




For you skeptics: leave me alone- this is my world of sexy fantasy and if a beautiful woman wants to drink beer out of one of my orifices or crevices, that sure as hell is between her and I- and I usually have a waiver form handy just in case.


And about the probability that a beautiful woman like Zooey Deschanel would want to engage in a hot session with a fat beer dude like me- let me just say this:


Read it and WEEP! I am totally in style now...what do you guys think about that!!!!

(Go ahead, glance it over...I'll wait.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/fashion/13POTBELLY.html?_r=3&scp=1&sq=hip%20to%20be%20round&st=cse?no_interstitial



(Continue blog here)

Well, for once I am ahead of the physical trends...sure it's a recession, but we don't have to look like it, right? Amirite? (laughing)


Emaciated is so pre-Obama...tub is lub!!!! (just pretend 'lub' is 'love')





I'll spare you the dirty details of my sexy mind romp with Zooey Deschanel, and I'll get to the goods.


SEX. AND BEER.


So, I'm onto my next point (cue segue).


Why don't we have beer in the bedroom? There's aspirin in the bathroom right? And most likely there's petroleum jelly in the night stand. For some it may be under the pillow. (Just saying)


People would have such a good time and enjoy their lives better if there was beer in the bedroom.


I don't mean a tailgate trough full of ice and brew. That would be tacky.


I am talking about a nice mahogany headboard- with about five taps of beer above resting heads. Waiting for the proper moment which, upon utilization, will bring ecstasy and sudsy love to whomever dare pour a pint of pleasure for himself and his love partner.


Or, on the flip side...it could be used as a deterrent.

Don't want to have sex? Just reach above and pour a pint for your partner and watch as he/she delights in a proper alternative to lovemaking.


think about it- this could revolutionize the sex industry and bring a little sloppy excitement to mankind. No television, or books, or other propaganda- just bare essentials. Nude people, clean linen, and a delicious aphrodisiac.

( I know some people will say that beer is a sedative- which is true- but when you're drunk you want to have sex; who cares if its bad? Most people think they are great in bed while intoxicated- you know why? Because the person usually is intoxicated!)


Besides...a headboard full of cool tap handles is not only classy, but can be a creative decorative addition to any home...


Here comes the hard question.

"Tibbsy, what would you have on your headboard?"


Let's see...


I would have Cherish Kriek Lambic. A nice fruit Lambic rich with sticky cherry tartness and the right amount of carbonation to tickle anyone's fancy. Great brew foreplay...



Secondly, I would need Pink Killer from Belgian brewer- Silly. It's a delicious wheat based grapefruit beer. Aromatic as all erotic smell, with a lingering flavor that satisfies the palate and will turn anyone willing into a "Pink Killer" of his own. (if you know what I mean)



Thirdly, a beer from the folks at Dogfishead brewing get a choice spot on the sexy headboard of beer with their Imperial Pilsner, a delicious sharp, yet sweet style they have dubbed..."Golden Shower."- Alas, the beer is no longer called this due to gov't intervention, but I'm sure the tap handles are still around somewhere, and the beer surely didn't change I bet.



Fourth tap wold undoubtedly be from Flying Dog Brewery- a classic pale ale, aptly named for a classic sexy position- Doggie Style Pale Ale!!! That's right! Now you can drink you're favorite position presumebly whilst in such position. Nothing can be more gratifying, right?





And lastly, the money shot of beer- Climax brewing's Cream Ale....because nothing else looks better dripping from your partner's exhausted sweaty, sexy face...



(insert graphic photo here)


Well, that about wraps it up for my sexy beer idea...let me know what you think and what would be on your sexy headboard tap list.


And if you see my sexy Zooey Deschanel, tell her to take a number...I'll be right there as soon as I am done with the missus. 'Don't worry ladies, there's plenty of beer in this keg- if y'all know what I mean.'



By the way- this is Zooey, and just imagine I wrote the obvious Bang/Face joke....(go ahead and laugh- it's okay)




-Now if only I can get the missus to the Salon so we can get her dyed and "banged."

Last night

"Brewing Hope" was an overall success. I don't have all the numbers yet, but I'll let everyone know once everything is in order.


Thanks to everyone- I'd like to elaborate, but I'm tired!



"It's a good thing."-Ron Faris.