Monday, September 22, 2008

Inaugural Blog

Howdy out there in blogger land- This is obviously my first entry and I will use it to get everyone acquainted with me, and what I do.

I'm the neighborhood friendly bartender at dba256. I used to work at the Pomona Home Depot, LaVerne Target, and Aladdin Jr. (Pomona). I'm kinda a jack of all trades, yet the master of none. My heart lies with the fermented art of beer. I love it, and if there were a stronger word to describe that love I would use it now.

Now, I know what many of you are thinking, 'sure, I love beer too. I'm a beer drinker. I drink (fill in the blank with generic mass produced fizzy yellow beer).'

No, I am a man that has paid 45 dollars for a single bottle of beer, which was breathtakingly delicious. In fact, a buddy of mine just procured a 70 dollar bottle of beer that had been bottle aged for two years. And since I love beer, I shared it with my best friends, instead of allowing the beer to possibly decline with further aging.

What I mean to say is that, I love great artisanal, beautiful, beer that you can't find at 7 eleven. I don't drink just to consume, but I drink to enjoy, and I enjoy it quite often (very often).

Right now, I currently have 84 different IPA variations under my belt and I always drink new beers in various styles, but I do concentrate on IPAs currently.

However, there is more to my life- in the following blogs you will see exactly what else lies inside this skull besides dirty jokes and beer suds.

Now, here's the real Q&A to get rid of the akwardness of having to type every single thought that comes to mind while blogging-

Q: Tibbi, is your name short for something?
A: It's a long story, come to the bar one day when I've had a couple of beers and I'll tell you.

Q:Turtleneck, or V neck?
A: I am uncircumcized (it's like having a ribbed condom on all the time-*wink)

Q: So, why don't you speak spanish? You're brown aren't you?
A: A long time ago, people existed in California. My ancestors were those people and they predated what we now know to be as illegal immigration- ergo, your kids will one day be jaded bastardos that only speak english like me (but this will take a generation or two)

Q:Why do you always look at breasts so much?
A: That's what's above the bar.

Q:Are you single?
A: If you are America Ferrera- then yes. If you're not, but you look like her, maybe- other than that- NO.

Q:You look Asian
A:Fuck you.

Q:Do you have any nicknames?
A:Dutch Chocolate, Mr. T., T-Money....etc.

Q:What's you favorite food?
A: My favorite cuisine is Morrocan, but I also love Chili- I make my own and it's quite damn delicious

Q:Are you a democrat?
A: My ideology is moderate- enough said

Q:Do you have any special skills?
A: I once passed out drunk in a pool. I floated asleep in water- that's pretty skillful.

Q: What did you want to be when you grew up?
A: A tall archaeologist. (man life fucks with you, eh?)

Q:Do you have family?
A: Why? Do you need some? I got some spares ( a later blog)

Q:Okay, you like beer and you're a bartender; what's next?
A: Hopefully, I can get some brewery experience under my belt somehow, then I want to maybe, open up my own brewpub, or work at Stone.

Q:Blondes or Brunettes?
A: Brunettes- but I do fancy Irish red locks....

Q:What's you favorite beer?
A:Impossible question. I have a favorite beer for every style and occasion. I'd be a fool to stick to just one, as would anyone else. But I do drink a lot of Mirror Pond Pale Ale, and Stone IPA

Q:If you could take only one thing to the moon with you, would you take beer?
A: Good one, uh....I'd take a fleshlight full of beer. When I landed on the moon, I would drink the beer then pleasure myself with the fleshlight until I die. I'm not going out without beer and sex, nor am I gonna die with my hand on my penis.

Q:Do you like your job?
A:I love it. My boss is good to me, I get to be around beer, talk about beer, drink beer...what's not to love?

Q:How do you feel about a woman's right to choose?
A:That's none of my damn business, so I'll leave the choice up to them which I believe they have a right to.

Q:Should we kill old people?
A: No, but we should kill old people that voted for bush.

Q:Why do you have a beard?
A:Because Captain Ahab is a hero of mine.

no, more questions please

Well folks, that's all for now. But there will definately be more to come, so stay tuned

1 comment:

pomona's art colonists said...

You do know your beers and we appreciate that.
We love beer too!
Thanks for introducing us to new tasty ones.